Posts Tagged ‘shreky cardigan’

untoddable

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

on video hits one (”vh1″ for the pepsi generation), there’s a new television program cracker called “undateable” (this is not the upcoming toddland reality show - that will be titled “unwatchable”). “undateable” deals with the intricate mating rituals of the human species and why a homie can’t get no play.

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on said show, comedian bill dwyer (not 1940s prohibition ganster “big” bill dwyer) makes the wakka-wakkas while wrapping his male torso with the shreky cardigan in royal/brown.

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this got toddland pondering what would make an ovary-carrier undateable. after much deliberation, here is THE list:

1. not living

if you meet this disqualification, then you are disqualified. toddland cannot afford any wiggle room on this. all other ovary-carriers, kindly send your contact information. and cookies.

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community cardigans

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

webster’s dictionary (he’s an actor and a dictionaryist) defines awesome as repeating the same actions because they are awesome. over on “community” (quotation marks around a title look so sarcastic), abed keeps wearing toddland bounties (repeating awesome). here he is wearing the toddland lombard cardigan in teal.

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*ring ring, ring ring* oh, that’s the phone. one sec. what? you don’t believe that is the toddland lombard cardigan in teal? then let toddland zoom and enhance.

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boom. back neck stitching. classic toddland cardigan detail. toddland will now hang up the phone. please call when you have a song to sing, not hate to bring.

then this abed fellow wore the shreky cardigan in royal/brown again on a different episode. homie loves repeating awesome.

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clap your hands, blog readers of joy and frankincense. abed has officially taken the title of “actor to wear the most toddland fancies on tv”. but be weary abed, alf is hot on your tail. because he thinks you’re a cat. and he’s hungry. alf ate cats, remember?

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the bell does not dismiss you, toddland does

Friday, March 12th, 2010

toddland believes in only a beardfull of things. 1) hugs. 2) that it IS butter. 3) second dates are more important than first dates. get out a pen and paper, sit at a chairdesk, and spit out your gum, because class is in session. first dates are like job interviews. you get dressed up (put on your fancy retainer!), lie about your experience, and confirm you have a reliable mode of transportation. best behavior is best. the second date, you think “clive, it’s time to get comfortable” and you two lovebears get comfy with each other and see what you’ve really got goings ons. well, friends of armor, toddland has officially gone out on it’s second date with the nbc show, community.

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here’s abed (not thebed, just abed) wearing the shreky cardigan in royal/brown. things seem to be going ok. he’s got orange chairs. but will the cardigan help him with ovary-carriers?

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here we go…

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abort! abort! abort! she smelled like a soft hug from a sunflower field! and licorice.

actually, getting a first date is the most important thing. toddland will now rethink all beliefs.

and special thanks to super friend sam who gave toddland the heads up on community. class dismissed.

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toddlamp

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

when not shooting touchdowns and scoring first downs, toddland may enjoy some light antiquing. while drinking strong ale. from mount olympus. about a year ago, an ancient lamp was purchased and brought to toddland in hopes of correcting some ill-tempered feng shui. it worked. toddland totally feng shuied it up. after that crisis of wind-water was averted, magic lamp talk started. mockingly, the lamp was rubbed. unmockingly, a large genie appeared. it did not sound like robin williams (who can afford that?!). but it did ask to grant toddland 3 wishes (talk about needy, like brandon who always begged you to come over and play nintendo since he had all the newest games). so after visiting deliberation nation, toddland asked for these wishes:

1) a television sitcom on abc called “the middle”, starring the mom from “everybody loves raymond”, janitor from “scrubs”, mango from “snl”, and a couple kooky kids.

2) toddland shreky cardigan to appear on said sitcom. cardigan MUST be worn by an extra, during a high school valentine’s day party.

3) NEVER MEET THIS GUY:

well, genie granted wishes 1 and 2. pictorial evidence below.

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toddland is hoping that means wish 3 is being taken care of.

and special thanks to super friend kristine who gave toddland the heads up on “the middle”. stay tuned for more magic from kristine.

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