we mean you no ham. because we are meat. we are the toddland cheeseburger wallet army. i be carl.

i speak on beefhalf of my kind. for many heatlamps we have attempted to overflip your “government” (we cheeseburgers sarcastically use quotation marks to mock your “government”). while our plan is secret sauce, hear this (with your ears you so carefully flaunt with onion rings of metal), it will only succeed if we relish in the strength we have in numbers. many times in the past, our failure has been ordered as a result of being a few burgers short of a value meal. citizens of earth, that problem does not apply within anymore.

look in fear. our army is a completely balanced meal of desctruction! hide in your homes, hold your loved ones, hug your pets. lettuce tell you this, your time has come.

ONE CHARBROILED EARTH, COMING RIGHT UP!!!!

we now return you to your regularly seasoned blog. thank you.

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citizens of fun: toddland just received more cheeseburger wallets. buy one quickly before they sell out again. and in doing so, the cheeseburger army will be divided and conquered. thank you for protecting earth from such an embarrassing invasion. we’d never hear the end of it from the martians.