its the friday before a long weekend.

the bearded one — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 07:52:44 +0000

be safe out there and have as much fun as this kid. toddland will.

how do you put a price on awesome?!

the bearded one — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 08:46:43 +0000

that is the question raised in this review of the toddland cheeseburger wallet. if you really want to know the formula of figuring out the price of awesome, you’d have to bribe a toddland price-conjuring wizard (usually an eye of newt would work). and then HE’D tell you (like toddland is going to use girls for a math-heavy job!) the formula; find out how much awesome costs to make. find out how much toddland needs to pay off hamster racing debts. add those two numbers together. that’s usually how toddland puts a price on awesome. enjoy the video!

this video was made for the site, fabnob. click and shop! or just click and look! but don’t click here and expect any shopping. no sir.

and now, another entry from grandpappy

the bearded one — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 06:54:56 +0000

you’re gonna wanna sit down for this! chances are, you probably already are sitting, lazy hippie. in my day, men were men. and skirts were dames. and kids were factory workers. but not now. no sir. you’s gotta make sure no blood rushes to your head, because now everything’s gone all topsy-turvy! if you were a man, you had two things hanging in your closet; a black suit and a grey suit (but if a blouse entered the room, you best change into that black suit right quick). that was it. sure, you had them sassy boys that kept a pinstripe suit in that closet, but they kept a LOT in that closet, if you know what my drift is. but you know what chaps my lips? the way you cola drinkers put anything on and walk out into daylight. i’ll admit, even i sometimes relax a bit at home. i’m not too proud of it, but i may loosen my tie a little after a large serving of brisket. but that’s in my own home, in front of my wife (if she can see me from the kitchen). but you’s kids go OUT into the general public looking like a 3 yr old’s self-published coloring book. horrible. take this sad example. the other day, the grandkids finished all their mutton and were allowed to watch the idiot box until night court came on (bull is so tall!). so they picked the disney channel. fine, wholesome entertainment. i THOUGHT.

this ne’er-do-well here is what is wrong with everything, everywhere! he’s on tv wearing the toddland ufo sheep sweater, telling kids to be cool like him and wear sweaters like this and buy foreign cars! why can’t we go back to a time when men were men? and the only color they might wear is red. red from the blood of another man who was trying to get fresh with your date. them’s were the days.

a picture is worth a thousand words

the bearded one — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:34:39 +0000

ladies and germs! boys and ghouls! toddland presents to you a video made by superfan 99 mack about toddland. actually, about how to make a bad video about toddland.

this video is about 4:06 long. if it’s shot at 24 frames per sec, that’s about 246 pics total (toddland does not have time to explain how pictures shown in rapid succession create the illusion of movement. ask a nerd). take those 246 pics and multiply them by 1000. what’s that abacus say? exactly. this video is worth roughly 35,780,239.33 words. toddland could describe the video with that many words (and it would be as awesome as the first day of autumn) instead of showing you the video, but toddland knows that you are a lazy generation with your lapphones and iMusicians. enjoy the movie and thank us later for saving you from having to read more than just the backs of cereal boxes.

in all honesty, sincerity, and warm beard hugs, thanks mack for taking the time and the risk to make this. it really means a lot to this little clothing company to have such frans (that is friends and fans together!) that would care enough to visit and interview us like we’re something special. toddland is just a couple folks trying to make the world’s radometer measure a little higher. and with frans like mack out there creating their own radness, it helps toddland know the radvolution is on its way.

toddland is such a prize

the bearded one — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 07:58:19 +0000

skip to 2:20! or don’t! toddland isn’t your possessive girlfriend! speaking of, are you gonna break up with abby? everyone thinks you should. even abby. she hates you.

since vidcon just recently passed (toddland knows you were really looking forward to it this year), you won’t have the chance to win the wallet from ijustine. but to help out our fans (and ijustine’s fans, let’s all be friends), toddland is setting up a contest. all you have to do is click HERE (not HERE), send in $24 (plus shipping, handling is free) and a short 1 page essay on what you would do if you had a hamburger (figure out how to fill a whole page with “i’d eat it”). 1 in 1 wins. the essay isn’t as important as the money. just send in the money. and cookies.

declassified information

the bearded one — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 08:10:46 +0000

in toddland, there are many projects that must be kept up flannel sleeves. said projects are very temptation nation to talk about, but must be kept at level 6 classified information. that usually leads to conversations like this:

“so, toddland…. what do you do?”

“well, ms. supermodel of america, you’ll never believe that we’re getting to work on….. carrots.”

“look at the time! i have to go to a photo shoot right now. its theme is ‘the most beautiful women ever. who don’t want to be in your parent’s basement right now’. bye”

eventually, projects hit the market and are declassified (level 6 projects are lowered to level go ahead projects). yay! they are talkaboutable! like these limited edition jackets toddland has teamed up with thalia surf shop to make.

they are great racer style jackets that match our get rad or get lost board shorts. these jackets are only available at thalia surf shop and are hand-numbered and limited to 80. that’s not a lot of limited. hurry over to thalia’s online store by clicking any of the words in this post that are a different color. apologies to colorblind blog readers of joy. you won’t know where to click AND you can’t be jet pilots. bummer.

and we’re back

the bearded one — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:54:52 +0000

please line up for your free toddland hug. courtesy of toddland. it has been 2 weeks (4 years in dreamtime - inception, anyone?) since there has been a new post on this here blog of joy and wonderment. why, you ask? because toddland has been beard-deep finishing all the threaded bounties of raditude for fall. some say that these past 2 weeks with no blog posts have been “cat in the microwave” horrible (DO NOT PUT CATS IN MICROWAVES). but it will be worth in when fall drops like an anvil of love into your closet (that made just as much sense as vacationing in jersey. none). until then, toddland will leave you with this pic from the august issue of gq. it’s emma stone wearing a toddland/kelly thacker collab let’s die friends hat.

and now, join us for six degrees of toddland. emma stone, seen above with the let’s die friends hat, appeared in the movie zombieland. there were a lot of zombies in it. one zombie was wearing the toddland tenderfoot buttondown. emma stone now has 2 connections with toddland bounties. if she wants another connection, she can come by the office, for, you know, wink wink, nudge nudge … a free shirt.

toddland in a candy store

the bearded one — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 09:23:44 +0000

kids love candy. that is why all their teeth fall out. it’s evolution’s way of saying, “go for it. and here’s a car decal.” but what is one to do when they grow up and candy is still delicious? (spoke with candy on the phone the other day. candy has no plans of slowing down its deliciousness) adult humans have two options when dealing with candy. and luckily, they are here for your list pleasure:

1 - only eat candy in moderation (said ms. lame, your elementary school nurse)

2 - get your own show on the food network called “kid in a candy store” and travel this great u s of a looking for the best candy. all while wearing the toddland navajoe western buttondown.

again, thanks to superfan99 mack for sending this in. because you have brought this to our attention, you get to send us candy. sour patch kids will be accepted. red vines will be consumed. good and plenties will be rejected. they’re just black licorice coated in a candy shell. that’s the devil’s candy. and dude does not have an educated candy palette. always going on and on about butterscotch.

happy 4th from toddland

the bearded one — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 08:52:41 +0000

stay safe out there, folks.

and now, an entry from grandpappy

the bearded one — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:05:06 +0000

hell in a hand basket, i tells ya. that’s where this world is goin. and right quick! wanna know why? i’ll tells ya why! the kids these days! no respect for nothing. when was the last time you saw a smart haircut? and don’t even get me started on how they dress. if you can even call it that! in my day, if you weren’t wearing a suit, you were either in bed or in surgery! although i did wear a blazer when i had my appendix removed. but that was because there was what appeared to be a lady doctor present (probably wandered off from some sort of costume contest). now, these whippersnappers proudly wear….. jeans…. with holes in them! they are proud to wear garbage. soon, they’ll be using ol’ tin cans as top hats! “done with that coffee can? great, because i need to cover up my stupid haircut!’ is what they’ll be saying. so just today, i picked up the june 2010 issue of gentleman’s quarterly. that’s gq for you pepsi generationers. and let me tell you, there was no gentlemen in there! not one! look at this pic right here!

see that chap right there in the middle? he seems to be an actor/singer on a show titled “glee”. the only gleeful feelings i’d have would be from turning off that program! this kid ain’t no fred astaire! he plays a kid named puck. puck, huh? you know what that sounds like. i’d tell ya, but there may be ladies present, and i ain’t one to use profain language around the skirts. and what’s worse? look to the left of him. there’s another embarrassment of society wearing a toddland nachos trucker hat. a hat that says nachos? sheesh, now i’ve seen everything! tell mildred i’ll be seeing her soon. i’ll be the one in the suit.