Archive for the ‘toddland early 80’s comedy club time’ Category

donk donk…. (law and order theme song)

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

if space/time worked differently, maybe toddland would have been toddlaw enforcement. until the toddland scientists of fame figure out how to alter said space/time (pretty sure it has something to do with emmanuel lewis), toddland can just watch law and order. it’s on shows like law and order you can see high school basketball stars nicknamed teddy bear become officers (any hang time fans? no?). you can also see the toddland el pocketo gigante:

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you can also see everyone’s favorite food-based comic jim gaffigan guest-starring and making faces at toddland.

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now, in honor of mr. gaffigan,  it’s time for toddland early 80’s comedy club time!

“oh man, speaking of law and order and food, can you imagine if two guys, named law and order, went to a restaurant?

the waitress would be all ‘can i take your order?’

and law would be all ‘take him? why? we just got here! flashdance!’

haha, oh my, that would be hilarious!”

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nano nano

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

toddland has one question for you, blog reader of joy: “where did you buy your ninja turtles from as a child of youth?” toddland would go to target. great selection, and $3 cheaper per turtle than toys r us. that was then, this is not then. but still, toddland is connected to target. focus your eyes on this target ad:

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we have cleverly used “technology” to circle what’s so awesometown about this ad. it features an ipod nano, with a picture of a kid wearing the toddland diver down tee. “toddland, that image is too small for me to love” says you.

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better? when did you get so demanding? we think it started after becky left and you got all “i’m in charge of my destiny”. now that that’s settled, it’s time for toddland early 80’s comedy club time!

“oh man, speaking of ipod nano’s which will be invented in about 20 years, check this out! did you watch mork & mindy last night? i was watching and kept thinking, ‘what if mork was sitting in a meeting at apple?”

apple executive: ‘we have this new ipod. its smaller. a lot smaller. people will love it. we just need a name for it.’

mork: ‘call it nanu-nanu!’

apple executive: ‘that’s perfect! the ipod nano!’

mork: ‘no, nanU. nanuuuuuuuu.’

apple executive: ‘who are you? you’re crazy with those suspenders! go back to whatever planet you came from and leave us alone.’

mork: ‘you’re going to fix my spaceship?! caddyshack!’

haha, oh my, that would be hilarious!”

and special thanks to toddland fan mack who used his electronic mail for good, not evil and sent us the target ad. you get 1000 toddland bucks!

*toddland does not accept toddland bucks.

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zombies + toddland = zombieland!

Monday, September 7th, 2009

this post is not to announce our new line for zombies. that would be silly-sauce. this post is to point our fans (plural = wishful thinking!) to watch the trailer for the new movie, zombieland. in it, you’ll see this:

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yes, that is a zombie. yes, the zombie is running (which zombies are not supposed to be able to do - but that is a debate for another nerd convention). and yes, that zombie is wearing the toddland tenderfoot in brown. still don’t believe us that this is from a movie and not from the toddland zombie fashion show? here’s a pic of woody harrelson about to shoot said zombie.

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now, toddland early 80’s comedy club time!

“oh man, speaking of woody harrelson and zombies, what if a zombie stumbled into the bar from the show ‘cheers’? it would probably go something like this:

zombie: ‘aaaarrrggg… braiiiiins…..’
carla: ‘looking for brains? ha, you came to the wroooong place’
woody: ‘ah, gee, mr., i don’t have any brains, but we do have beer. and bar nuts!’
zombie: ‘aaaarrrggg…. bar nuts are very unsanitary. i may be undead, but i wouldn’t even touch those things! alf!’

haha, oh my, that would be hilarious!”

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my evil twin brother loves toddland!

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

one who is home during the middle of the day is treated to such treatable treats like commercials explaining how easy you can become a dental technician (on YOUR time!). but in between said commercials, you can watch soap operas. soap operas started in the days of radio (they were like ipods that you didn’t get to pick the music), when soap commercials would sing little jingles about their product. something like “its dirty, its dirty, use tide-out soap, and your husband won’t slap you, slap you.” then, the jingles grew into little stories that would entertain a housewife (nothing with math i hope). after a while, soap companies would just sponsor radio shows geared towards the lady of the house. that’s where the term soap opera comes from. toddland, teaching you things and keeping kids off drugs.

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that is a pic of the toddland shaka shorts in aqua on the soap opera general hospital. general hospital airs on abc at i don’t have a job o’clock. now, toddland early 80’s comedy club time!

“oh man, can you imagine if an army general, who’s last name WAS hospital, was trying to get directions to general hospital? it would go something like this: ‘general hospital looking for general hospital. what? use a mirror? rubik’s cube!’ haha, oh my, that would be hilarious!”

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